Week 5 – Blood and sweat

Ok I’m at the half way mark. Yes! I have noticed some more slimming. I’m only down maybe 2-3 lbs since I started but I feel taller. I always lose weight in places I don’t really care about, like my neck—hello, sexy pencil neck. Or my back which is already pretty skinny. I’m starting to feel more of a stretch along the stomach which is a good thing; maybe I really am getting taller.

I’m starting to feel *lighter* while I’m doing the poses. One of the teachers made a comment during fixed firm pose that eventually doing this will feel just as easy as having a cup of tea. I’m starting to get that concept. I’m developing calluses on my knees from the friction of the towels. I have the knobby knees of a child right now.

I’m not as tired this week, maybe the Liver/Spleen Rasayanna is helping me with that too. These products are my crack now. I have to watch not over-doing fruit juices and caffeinated beverages on those days when I do feel tired. A little bit of juice consumed before seems to help.

One of my friends describes Bikram as being “multi-layered” and it really is. It makes you more patient, intelligent and creative. I think after the challenge I will still go as much as I can—maybe 4-5 x a week, a minimum of 3. Bikram says that after the challenge you should go at least 10x a month, that’s totally doable. What makes Bikram yoga work is the concept of a turnequate effect, while doing the poses you shut off the blood supply to let’s say the liver, kidneys, etc. when you release the pose, a fresh blood supply rushes to the organs. I feel that is happening with my creativity too. I haven’t had time to paint but when I get into the studio I will have that fresh blood supply to that part of my life too.

I did manage to make time to see my movie boyfriend, Viggo Mortensen in Eastern Promises. Very physical movie. Viggo would probably love Bikram. I've always admired Viggo's integrity. As one of my fav Bikram teachers says, “Don’t be perfect, be excellent.” Viggo is certainly excellent—actor, painter, photographer, writer, jazz musician and he loves Halloween or so I have read. I could never date someone who didn’t love Halloween. I love to work hard but I can also appreciate everyday life and holidays.

I’m wrapping up the challenge just in time for Halloween and also right before I get to see Diamonda Gallais at the MCA. She canceled her Chicago concert at Park West years ago so I’m excited to see her in person for the first time. I have many of her CDs including the one with the fantastic bloody cover. Her style is amazing. There’s a part of me that would like to go wild like that or have a bunch of tattoos. I admire them on other people especially in Bikram. I will probably get one sometime in my lifetime. When you are an artist symbols are so important to you, it’s hard to pick something and stick with it the rest of your life. I was considering the lower back “tramp stamp” of one of my bleeding heart designs done in Sailor Jerry style. Or maybe start with something small, maybe to cover up that scar on my ankle. I recently went to Celtic Fest and bought a necklace with Seahorse Twins. I was researching the symbolism on line and a lot of it was right on. The Seahorse represents patience, friendliness, inflexibility, persistence and generosity. The Seahorse also represents stubbornness, as the animal has hardly changed through evolution. They are content to be who they are. The seahorse wraps its tail around the nearest object in order to anchor itself in turbulent waters. They are delicate yet their exteriors are like armor. Often when the seahorse comes to us it is a sign that we either need protection from our external circumstances, or we are building walls that aren’t needed. I think for me it's usually the latter.

Week 4

A lot of the Bikram teachers say that getting to class is the hardest part. That’s so true. Some days I really look forward to being in that warm (Okay, hot) room after freezing all day in the meat locker I work in. Okay I don’t work in a meat locker it’s an office but it’s so cold in here sometimes you would think so. Some good things—Remember Week 2 when I was crabby and having the acid reflux well it turns out that happened because my digestion is improving and taking HCL is only giving me acid reflux, so yeah to knocking off one more supplement on my list.

I do miss having a life outside of work, home and the studio. The other day I realized how much the word “studio” is apart of my existence—art studio, yoga studio. I miss spontaneously going to a movie with a friend. I’ve had to miss out on some cocktail parties (one free one at work, that hurt a bit) but hey it’s only two months of my life. I’m finally feeling a little leaner, perhaps because I’m past the ole period bloat but my pants are fitting differently, in a good way. My arms are deflating a bit so I need to keep up with a little arm work.

I’m also attempting to move around in the studio instead of always being in the same spot. I really like being near the window, the light gives me hope I won’t die during class. On the weekends or during the slower classes I’ll move to the front row. One of the teachers always makes this remark and I’m not sure if it’s geared toward me its something like—Only come to the first row if you think you are worthy of it. If you think your practice is up to it. I usually stick to the second row near an edge or pole so I can lay down my towel without having to be moved a zillion times to accommodate someone else.

This week my practice strangely enough isn’t as boring to me. It’s a grove on my brain now . I don’t have to think about it. I just do it like brushing my teeth. I’m still finding the balance with food and have discovered that a little fruit or a slushy fruit drink an hour or two before class gives me more energy. I think once I start brewing the K-tea again that will help as well. I just have to watch the candida but perhaps timing it right, I will just sweat it out. Today is Day 25, a fellow yogi who just completed the 60-day challenge said that after Day 30 she looked at it like a bike ride and now she was just downhill and on to easy street! I like that analogy.

Week 3

I’ve had a bit more energy this week. Last Friday was probably the tired-est I have felt so this week is better plus I had Wednesday off. I added a little more fish and that seems to boost my energy too. I had a buffalo burger that was way to hard for my body to digest (and yes that was also Friday’s class). I'm going back to Eat to Live, a mostly veggie diet with some animal protein if you wish, maybe 2-3 times a week. I'm sticking with fish and the lighter proteins for now.

This journey has given me a recent revelation that maybe my non-art interests over the years maybe stem from avoiding my artwork. There is still a big part of me that believes that I’m too kooky or not talented enough to “make it”. So I’ve indulged in other things to fill up the time. Sure a lot of that enhanced my life but now I’m ready to get back into it.

I guess the big life question I keep asking myself is “What is really worth it?” It’s great to experiment and try new things but now I want to streamline and focus on a new series.

Week 2 of my Challenge:

This week I feel a bit more tired but I have yet to hit the wall thankfully! The sore throat/dusty lung thing has passed. There are times when I have my doubts about this practice. It could just be my usual PMS-depression that hits me and is tainting my point of view. Plus I’m out of my new drug of choice—Circle of Health’s Anti-Stress Ayurvedic Rasayana. I think Bikram yoga might be a better health saver than it is a “body shaper”. It’s not that Bikram is making me flabby but like all things it may not be up to its hype. I can’t pig out all weekend and expect to have a body like Iggy Pop on Monday. It’s really what you put in your mouth that is most important. Like the ole saying goes, “Abs are made in the kitchen not in the gym”. Speaking of the gym, I actually miss the gym and having more variety to my workouts. I think my body just does better with cross training. I’m just too tired to go during the challenge. I have been bouncing on my trampoline, doing some arm/shoulder work with light dumbbells and doing a little ab work. Of course the challenge is only two months and I don’t think I will completely lose all my muscle. It’s not as if I’m some huge dude that can rip phone books in half and I have to protect my precious muscle. After my 60-days, I can then decide if the benefits are worth spending the $$$. Also, will I like this practice during the winter when I have to put on hot clothes in the middle of a sweltering and crowded locker room? I may just do Bikram half the year and then maybe stick with the gym and pilates the rest of the time. Also, I’ve always wanted to try out martial arts but let’s not get ahead of myself . . .

So let’s compare pros and cons thus so far. . .

What I like and the benefits I’m getting:
-I enjoy the practice itself
-Acquiring more confidence, patience and clarity
-If I eat right, I do feel like the practice makes me leaner
-Posture is better
-I’ve met some great people, the studio is really also a positive social outlet. The instructors are all really nice and knowledgeable
-Being inspired by other people’s stories gives me hope. I love a testimonial and the studio is filled with them!
-It forces you to eat in a more disciplined way, if you’ve ever eaten too much too late before a class you know what I mean.
-I think all yoga is really great for problem solving and removing blocks. I feel like I’m moving through some creative blocks.
-My knees don’t crack as much.
-Usually my sleep is better and deeper (except Sunday nights but that has always been my thing).
-I’m sure the practice is detoxing me and that alone makes this little experiment worth while.
-There are really great moments of pride and sheer happiness, especially when you see improvements in your poses. I believe yogis call this “bliss”.


What I don’t like:
-The time factor, commuting to the studio, the class itself is 90-minutes, the showering and time it takes to cool off after, etc.. This can easily take up 3-4 hours of my day. I hardly have any time for artwork. Basically, I get up wash my hair, do a mini trampoline workout; go to work; go to yoga; attempt to sleep and do it again the next day. Not a lot of time for anything else. If you’re going to do a challenge it can’t be during a time of year when you feel like you are missing out on a lot.
-The crowded women’s locker room is brutal. I do fine with the heat in class but the locker room crazy makes me want to faint. All the pushing, shoving and waiting for the only one bathroom is a total drag. I can have a great class and enter the locker room and the good vibes are completely gone. I’ve now learned to just chill in the lobby and wait for the crazy to go by.
-Which leads me to another con, file under “commitment”. I only have so much time and energy. I can’t do it all. So I have to limit time I spend going out, attending seminars and gallery openings.
-$$$ spent. I’m not yet an International Woman of Mystery. It’s a lot of money each month, while I think it is good it is really going to have to be perfect to get me to keep going. Plus you really have to watch not overspending on clothing, water, juice, sweatbands, seminars, etc. I miss being a girl and having money to spend on clothes and hair.
-The practice requires a lot of planning—drinking enough water, not eating too much or too little. You really have to be extremely intuitive to your body’s needs. If you misjudge, you suffer. Also, you can’t leave Bikram like a sweaty piglet and run off to a party.
-The laundry, having to have an endless supply of yoga clothes and towels.
-Washing my hair everyday. My hair type is similar to African-American hair so I have to be careful I don’t completely dry it out.
-I’m still not getting the physical results I want. I still don’t get why some students have jaw dropping abs and others don’t. I’m fit but I’ve never had the type of abs that look like a slim pole with tight taught skin stretched across. My flabby stomach is only slightly compartmentalized.
- Maybe Bikram is good for my spine but carrying this shit every day is probably not. And the wet clothes and towel at the end of class are heavier than the dry ones.
-Weird food cravings. Never in my life have I wanted salty food so much. I keep a little baggy of Celtic gray salt with me so I can munch after class. The saying you are what you eat is even more true when you practice Bikram Yoga, because you can smell it in your sweat and it stings your eyes.
-The ouch factor! My knees feel sore sometimes and my SITS bones really hurt too.
-Fatigue. I knew the challenge would make me tired. I just don’t want to end up being caffeine junky to keep up with my practice. I just don’t think that is what yoga is about. I only drink coffee once a week, twice max. I indulge in the more innocent versions of caffeine like raw chocolate, green tea and yerba mate. Some of the instructors told me that during the teacher training (which is doing yoga 2x a day and having a lecture in between for six days a week) that the raw foodists started eating McDonald’s. Bikram himself is known to down Coca Cola, eat McDonald’s and cheesecake. I like a good rare burger once in a while but McDonald’s, no way, that is not even food.

I think the process is worth two months out of my life but I’m not sure if/how I will continue with the practice. It’s a financial sacrifice. It could also at time be adding more stress to my life. I feel like I only have time for work, Bikram, making food, doing laundry, sleeping and that’s pretty much it. I’m due for highlights I can’t afford and my clothes are falling apart. If I had Madonna’s money and more time then certainly yes it would be. I’m still open to a miracle. If let’s say I’d heal my thyroid or end up with amazing set of abs I might still continue the practice. I still want the pros side to win. I’m still and optimist after all.