So Daniel is gay. I had a feeling he could be. I’m not going to go into the well he looks gay because he was a scarf or messenger bag thing. I know that announcement broke some other female hearts too. The whole Project Runway coming out episode actually brought up some memories of my best friend, Guy, who was also a gay man, and one that wasn’t flaming. I lost Guy to a sudden heart attack, which was more than likely AIDS in February of 1997. He was born on Valentine’s Day but didn’t make it to his 33rd birthday. I didn’t see it coming. I lost my mom to breast cancer in May of 1996 and I was in a relationship that was crumbling. Needless to say, I was a bit distracted. He moved back to Oregon with his family. I thought this move was more of a financial thing than the classic moving back home to die thing. I think he wanted to tell me but there was never the right time. Actually, there was a right time. We were supposed to go disco dancing and I got sick. Some other people backed out and I heard it wasn’t much of a party. One of my friends told me in retrospect that Guy knew I genuinely could not make it but it seemed some of the other who canceled were not so genuine. My friend said it reminded her of another gay man’s dinner party where a bunch of people just didn’t show. It ended up being just a few friends and a bunch of empty seats. You know who your friends are when you get sick. Maybe he thought he’d have more time. Maybe he didn’t want to burden me since he knew I had already been through so much. Before he passed away, he mended his relationship with his family and paid off all of his debt, I guess he was ready.
At work I got a call, it was a friend who had bad news—one of those I need to talk to you, where are you? kind of phone calls. As I was waiting at the el platform for my train, I just knew he was gone. I knew something was going on with him, just like a twin might know the other twin is sick. I just knew it. Guy was really popular and could have fun anywhere. I’m more of the stay-in, don’t cheat and keep to your daily list kind of a person. Friends of ours called us "the team". The team is here! Guy could have fun in an insurance office. Every moment was an opportunity for fun. He always kept in touch with everyone he met. He was an amazing letter writer. He was open to anyone being his friend. The Indian woman at the White Hen wasn’t just a cashier but a potential friend.
Guy had three funerals, one in Chicago, one in Milwaukee and one in Oregon. We played one of his favorite songs was the classic 80’s tune
99 Red Balloons by Nina. Each family member and friend released a red balloon in his honor.
Guy and I had created some great memories in the early 90’s. We loved to go to this particular bar that had 70’s and cheesy 80’s music. He would wear these great suits and I would wear these ice skating dresses with combat boots. What can I say, I was young! I would have loved to go disco dancing one more time . . .
If Guy had lived a few more years he could have seen how gay men have come to triumph in this country. He would have loved
Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. Even though he never officially came out to certain members of his family, Guy never needed to be accepted to live his life. I deeply admire that. Now getting back to Daniel Vosovic, good for him for coming out, even if it slightly breaks my heart, I can still have a little crush, right? He has the demeanor of an angel and is so wonderfully talented. May he find the perfect boy, win Project Runway and live a life of complete and utter happiness.
