Dealing with Food Cravings

If I could just program my body to do what I’m supposed to I would be so much healthier. I follow the 80/20 rule and eat a healthy diet most of the time. It’s sometimes more challenging to get back on track after a holiday. I mostly crave the following: wine, chocolate, Guinness (or other good quality beer), hummus, nut butters, and coffee. Chocolate is probably my no. 1 craving and like most women I crave it during my PMS cycle. Scientifically speaking it’s because stress depletes the body’s reserve of magnesium and chocolate is one of the most magnesium dense foods. I do supplement with magnesium but I still want my chocolate! I also think it’s partly the caffeine especially during that 3 pm slump.

A year ago, at let’s say the height of my addiction; I was consuming 3-4 TBS of raw chocolate powder a day. I would put it in smoothies or mix it like a little pudding with coconut water and some agave nectar. I was noticing how impatient I was getting and my heart would sometimes race. Now I hardly use it unless I'm really tired. Everyone is different, there are some people who can have it every day no problem. I also found it to be really dehydrating.

I love a good latte too. I find the act of going out and having a cup of coffee really relaxing. It’s cheap entertainment. You spend a few bucks and go to a café that has reading material, a nice chair and the possibility of meeting new people. Sure I could have tea but I hate spending $1.25 on tea, when I have an assortment of tea at home. So when I go out I want to have something complicated that I can’t make at home. I treat myself to a good latte of specialty drink at almost every holiday. I do enjoy Starbuck’s mochas or their Pumpkin Spice latte. It’s kinda like when I was a kid and I had to have McDonald’s Shamrock Shake on St. Patrick’s Day or the Artic Orange at the beginning of summer. There are some striking similarities to McDonald’s and Starbucks . . . but that’s another blog for another time. To me the best tasting coffee would be Peet’s and there is only one shop here in Chicago. They have more chains in the West Coast. I also love Intelligensia. On a Saturday when I feel the need to treat myself (or basically to justify a weak moment) I'll have a small decaf soy latte.

Honnestly, people don’t like people who eat healthy. Perfect eaters don’t have a lot of friends. Sinners are always more interesting than non-sinners. In nearly any movie the villain is always the most fascinating character and better dressed too. It’s a toss up for me because well I am human. I usually pay for my food sins with acid reflux, bloating, bad skin or hang-overs. What motivates me on those “good” days is vanity and longevity. I want to look good when I get old and I don’t have Sofia Loren’s genes. On the flip-side, I judge a health book by the photo the author on the back. Thumbs up to Donna Gaines who wrote The Body Ecology Diet, she is 60 and definitely doesn’t look it. She practices what she preaches. Sally Fallon, Dr. Oz, Anne-Louise Guittleman, Loren Cordain and David Wolfe are all authors who walk the walk and are very youthful looking.

I’m working on some new ideas to combat my cravings such as ingesting non-food things like good books, beautiful art, or great music. Other supportive activities might be: meditating, working out, journaling, knitting, calling a friend, or taking a nap.

You can also replace a “bad” or let’s say less nutritionally dense food with one that is healthier. Instead of salty snacks from the suppermarket I like Papa Lena's beet chips. Instead of booze a bottle of Kombucha tea provides some bubbly satisfaction. Instead of a typical junky foody snack, health food stores and raw food restaurants have tons of sweet tasting food bars like Lara Bars or Go Raw! Sometimes just a banana with some cinnamon might do the trick.

One of my yoga teachers said that sugar cravings could be a sign that one might want more sweetness in their life. This could be a valid point. Of course having just a small amount of what you really want is valid too that is if you don't eat the whole bag. Savor it and enjoy it just like the French do. I usually don’t keep chocolate in the house but at work there is usually a drawer where there is chocolate. Since I’m being watched (and it’s well usually someone else’s candy) I only take a few squares instead of eating a whole bar. If I were at home I would just eat the whole thing.

At 3pm I usually have my Ayurvedic “candy” know as Chavanaprah which is dark brown and sweet like chocolate. At this time I might also have some homemade almond milk with spices like turmeric, pumpkin pie spice mix, ginger, and black pepper. I might sweeten with a tiny bit of raw honey or molasses. Like Stuart Smalley says “progress not perfection”.

Week 9! I made it!

Week 9 (more like half a week)

I developed some odd knee tenderness so I had to take it easy on some poses. I think it was just some inflammation. I did my first double on Sunday and actually my knee felt better. I was so worried, sometimes the anticipation of a class is worse than the actual class.

My last class was on Wednesday night and I got a warm round of applause. It’s still surreal that I actually did it!!!!! I actually did this for 60 days straight.

So what have I learned from this entire process:

- That I am tougher than I think I am
- To be more compassionate with myself and others. The electrolyte imbalance problems really made me feel utterly sick. When you start having dreams about limbs falling off and Jesus carrying the cross, then something is up. That kinda low will really make you appreciate the good times as well as empathy for what others are going through
-I will no longer simply listen to a book for advice. I will listen to my own body. I will not longer take supplements that work for someone else and not me. Nor will I try a bunch of things at one time.
- I have fierce respect for my teachers and other yogis on this path
- I have learned to spend my time/resources more effectively

If I had to do it again, I would . . .

-Drink lots more SmartWater or electrolyte enhanced products
-Go easy on dehydrating foods like chocolate and soy lattes
-Not try anything new, stick with tried and true for the duration
-Drink more Kombucha tea (but not right before class)
-Eat a liver supportive diet-alkaline forming foods
-Buy more workout clothes so I wouldn’t be pressed to do laundry mid-week
-Be mindful and watch medications, supplements. The body is changing through this process and healing. Giving medicine to a healthy person makes for a sick person—sounds like something Bikram would say
-I just discovered baking soda with water and some apple cider vinegar is great for acid reflux as well as for alkalizing the body

Once my electrolytes are completely up and running I will party like a mofo. Well sort of. Wine and a good dinner. Maybe a cupcake (with electrolyte enhanced frosting).

Week 8

One of my yoga colleagues finished her own challenge on Tuesday. We’ve been supporting each other with smiles and “You can do it!” in the hallways passing. I’m still recouping from the dizzy feeling from the herbs. It’s passing little by little. I think my liquid multi was making me feel funny too. Come to think of it I have a history of returning vitamins/supplements. My body is just really unique. I'm an AB- blood type for christ sakes. My chiropractor and I muscle test my supplements and while it seems crazy, it always works. The digestive aid seemed to be the culprit (too heating), while the Liver/spleen seemed to agree with me. I'm taking a little break while I wrap up this challenge. Even taking too much triphala makes me a little dizzy (which makes me think it might be detox). I also think I have been suffering from electrolyte imbalance. I drink a lot of water but I haven’t been drinking the electrolyte-enhanced water. Also, I ran out of my usual sea veg supplement which has a lot of minerals—so this could be part of the problem. I feel really silly. I’m such a health-minded person how could I not realize the importance of electrolytes. A lot of people at my studio swear by Body Balance (aloe-sea veg-electrolite liquid supplement) but its’ like $89.00 a month. I have tried several samples and have yet to reap any miracle. I might just stick with my old standby Wachter's no. 22.

Once the challenge is over I will still go to yoga 3-4 times a week. I think Bikram is great healing agent but it really doesn’t burn as many calories as some Web sites claim. For someone small with a slow metabolism it’s probably only 300-500 calories and not 500-900—but don’t I wish. I still think cross training is where it is at. I'm also looking forward to having my life back and treating myself with more compassion.

Week 7

This week has been harder for me. I used to not have any digestive fire now I have too much. I’ve backed off on all my herbs for a while as they were making my blood to hot and thin. I woke up in the middle of the night with stabbing back pain and a warm sensation in my chest. I saw my doctor the next day and after doing an EKG and my examination we determined it was acid reflux. Thankfully nothing is wrong with my heart or lungs. I’ve also been on the horn with my Ayurvedic guru, who is sending me a milder form of the Liver/spleen formula since it was thinning by blood too much, even though I’m not on blood thinners. He thinks the Digestion Aid was firing me up too much. He said that people with any Pitta (not just a predominance) should not use that formula. The rasayanas are really great quality so I don’t think it’s a quality issue. I certainly wasn't taking big doses either. I have always been one of those one in a million sensitive types. I'm an AB- blood type as well. I really still believe in the yoga and ayurveda, I think I just got my blood way too hot and thin. I think I'm starting to believe that my digestion is more like my Dad's which is very pitta. He has terrible acid reflux and I know he has mentioned problems with blood thinners. So it's no wonder I would have problems with the natural forms of these. My guru mentioned that no one has ever had really terrible life-altering symptoms from his herbs, just nausea occassionally from the triphala so that is reassuring. I also didn't take into account how fast the Bikram would work to fire up my digestion.

Needless-to-say, Bikram has been really hard this week. Last night was the first night I had to sit out ever. Even during my first class I was up and doing the poses. I just felt too faint. This particular teacher chooses not to open the door. It's hard to do something this physically challenging when you don't even feel that good just plain walking. If it wasn't for the challenge I wouldn't of gone.

My ayurvedic guru thinks the hot yoga certainly had some part in heating up my blood too. I have only 14 days left so I’m showing up and doing my best. My ego really hated the fact that I had to sit down last night but it is a lesson in compassion. My advice to anyone doing a 60-day challenge is to not change your meds/herbs or try any funky diets. Be gentle and as healthy as possible. The challenge truly is challenging when you don't feel well. Thankfully my teachers now know me well enough that they can see I'm not being lazy but that something is sincerely wrong.

Now to mention some good points, I feel like this whole process has been an awakening for me. I live much more effectively now. I spent a lot of time in the past few years feeling sad and medicating myself with food, wine and TV. This yoga makes you stronger. I still watch some TV and drink (although the idea of red wine now is just way too heating) but I make good choices. Once the challenge is over I look forward to taking this awakening into my life and artwork.

Week 6

After reading my own damn blog about this whole experience I can see that Week 2 was my hit-the-wall week. I’m still noting improvements with digestion as well as thyroid. I think once you begin to get better at the poses, the health benefits appear even more. I’m getting better at locking the knee and the final stretching pose and I feel like that is making a magical difference for me.

Yoga makes you stronger in a different way than weight training (but I still believe in cross training). My grip strength is stronger and all the places that are hard to exercise with traditional workouts like your feet, ankles, and hips are sleeker. Even though it’s a tough practice it still doesn’t give you license to eat whatever you want.

Sometimes I get frustrated when one teacher instructs one way and another does it completely different. One will really harp on not moving ahead of instruction and another is like, “Come on you are four seconds behind me”. Every teacher has their own style. The best ones are those who are tough but also interject some ray of hope or a pearl of wisdom. I’m a sensitive person who always wants to be “good”. I always want the teacher to like me. I was a Girl Scout what can I say. Hopefully, the toughness of this yoga will make me tougher in my life outside of yoga, but at the same time I don’t want to be insensitive.

I’ve gave up my security blanket this week. I no longer have my little Kleenex or hand towel with me to sop up the sweat. It’s still hard keeping the sweat out of your eyes, especially when you wear contact lenses but I am doing it.

I’m having a very discipline-forward week. I’ve been eating less chocolate and watching less TV. I’m eating a lot more green foods. This practice definitely lets you know what works and doesn’t work pretty fast. Now that most of my fave trashy TV shows are ending, I’m not collecting anymore. I’m making it a rule to keep the TV turned off at night. I’ve also been disciplining myself to go to get by 10:00 pm and this works miracles—as they say in Ayurveda. I do have one disclaimer, my improvements are not just from the yoga but also from the Rasayannas and herbs I take. I’m so energized now I don’t need to drink coffee or green tea, nor am I really on copious amounts of raw chocolate powder in the morning to get me started. Although, I do think they are thinning my blood a bit, as is the practice of Bikram yoga so I will have to watch that. I think if I continue on this path I’ll be in good shape.

Week 5 – Blood and sweat

Ok I’m at the half way mark. Yes! I have noticed some more slimming. I’m only down maybe 2-3 lbs since I started but I feel taller. I always lose weight in places I don’t really care about, like my neck—hello, sexy pencil neck. Or my back which is already pretty skinny. I’m starting to feel more of a stretch along the stomach which is a good thing; maybe I really am getting taller.

I’m starting to feel *lighter* while I’m doing the poses. One of the teachers made a comment during fixed firm pose that eventually doing this will feel just as easy as having a cup of tea. I’m starting to get that concept. I’m developing calluses on my knees from the friction of the towels. I have the knobby knees of a child right now.

I’m not as tired this week, maybe the Liver/Spleen Rasayanna is helping me with that too. These products are my crack now. I have to watch not over-doing fruit juices and caffeinated beverages on those days when I do feel tired. A little bit of juice consumed before seems to help.

One of my friends describes Bikram as being “multi-layered” and it really is. It makes you more patient, intelligent and creative. I think after the challenge I will still go as much as I can—maybe 4-5 x a week, a minimum of 3. Bikram says that after the challenge you should go at least 10x a month, that’s totally doable. What makes Bikram yoga work is the concept of a turnequate effect, while doing the poses you shut off the blood supply to let’s say the liver, kidneys, etc. when you release the pose, a fresh blood supply rushes to the organs. I feel that is happening with my creativity too. I haven’t had time to paint but when I get into the studio I will have that fresh blood supply to that part of my life too.

I did manage to make time to see my movie boyfriend, Viggo Mortensen in Eastern Promises. Very physical movie. Viggo would probably love Bikram. I've always admired Viggo's integrity. As one of my fav Bikram teachers says, “Don’t be perfect, be excellent.” Viggo is certainly excellent—actor, painter, photographer, writer, jazz musician and he loves Halloween or so I have read. I could never date someone who didn’t love Halloween. I love to work hard but I can also appreciate everyday life and holidays.

I’m wrapping up the challenge just in time for Halloween and also right before I get to see Diamonda Gallais at the MCA. She canceled her Chicago concert at Park West years ago so I’m excited to see her in person for the first time. I have many of her CDs including the one with the fantastic bloody cover. Her style is amazing. There’s a part of me that would like to go wild like that or have a bunch of tattoos. I admire them on other people especially in Bikram. I will probably get one sometime in my lifetime. When you are an artist symbols are so important to you, it’s hard to pick something and stick with it the rest of your life. I was considering the lower back “tramp stamp” of one of my bleeding heart designs done in Sailor Jerry style. Or maybe start with something small, maybe to cover up that scar on my ankle. I recently went to Celtic Fest and bought a necklace with Seahorse Twins. I was researching the symbolism on line and a lot of it was right on. The Seahorse represents patience, friendliness, inflexibility, persistence and generosity. The Seahorse also represents stubbornness, as the animal has hardly changed through evolution. They are content to be who they are. The seahorse wraps its tail around the nearest object in order to anchor itself in turbulent waters. They are delicate yet their exteriors are like armor. Often when the seahorse comes to us it is a sign that we either need protection from our external circumstances, or we are building walls that aren’t needed. I think for me it's usually the latter.

Week 4

A lot of the Bikram teachers say that getting to class is the hardest part. That’s so true. Some days I really look forward to being in that warm (Okay, hot) room after freezing all day in the meat locker I work in. Okay I don’t work in a meat locker it’s an office but it’s so cold in here sometimes you would think so. Some good things—Remember Week 2 when I was crabby and having the acid reflux well it turns out that happened because my digestion is improving and taking HCL is only giving me acid reflux, so yeah to knocking off one more supplement on my list.

I do miss having a life outside of work, home and the studio. The other day I realized how much the word “studio” is apart of my existence—art studio, yoga studio. I miss spontaneously going to a movie with a friend. I’ve had to miss out on some cocktail parties (one free one at work, that hurt a bit) but hey it’s only two months of my life. I’m finally feeling a little leaner, perhaps because I’m past the ole period bloat but my pants are fitting differently, in a good way. My arms are deflating a bit so I need to keep up with a little arm work.

I’m also attempting to move around in the studio instead of always being in the same spot. I really like being near the window, the light gives me hope I won’t die during class. On the weekends or during the slower classes I’ll move to the front row. One of the teachers always makes this remark and I’m not sure if it’s geared toward me its something like—Only come to the first row if you think you are worthy of it. If you think your practice is up to it. I usually stick to the second row near an edge or pole so I can lay down my towel without having to be moved a zillion times to accommodate someone else.

This week my practice strangely enough isn’t as boring to me. It’s a grove on my brain now . I don’t have to think about it. I just do it like brushing my teeth. I’m still finding the balance with food and have discovered that a little fruit or a slushy fruit drink an hour or two before class gives me more energy. I think once I start brewing the K-tea again that will help as well. I just have to watch the candida but perhaps timing it right, I will just sweat it out. Today is Day 25, a fellow yogi who just completed the 60-day challenge said that after Day 30 she looked at it like a bike ride and now she was just downhill and on to easy street! I like that analogy.